Worrying in the waiting

Soon Paul (my hubby), Lucie (my youngest stepdaughter) and I are going on holiday. Now, I’m one of those strange people who love planning a trip away almost as much as going on the holiday itself! I know, I’m a control freak!!

I have loved finding the place to stay (complete with hot tub!), organising day trips, cleaning the house ready to go, packing for myself, the dogs and Paul, etc etc etc!

But

So quickly the joy of planning and preparing can become the ties of worry and the bonds of anxiety.

The fun I have had planning have given way to worries about worming the dogs (really!?!?!) panic about when and how we will pick up Lucie and anxiety about making the house tidy for mum and dad house sitting (even though I know my mum doesn’t care and will tidy up for me anyway!) and so many other little things that have brought me down and exhausted me.

Whilst pondering this, my mind turned to the road I am walking through infertility and once again I realised God’s goodness to me.

You see Paul and I have always been pretty laid back through it all, even though there have been tears, tantrums and duvet days. Also because of our situation of unexplained infertility without the possibility of any further investigation through the NHS (due to my three wonderful step children), God has taken away much of the planning and control that can easily become worry and anxiety.

Yes there are days when it does consume me and yes I can quickly become tempted to control the things I can control, but God’s word says he has got it sorted and that’s good enough for me!

I love the gospel writer of Matthew and the way he captures Jesus’ perspective on worry, and this week, in a moment of panic and anxiety, I was reminded of some of his words. I was walking the dogs along a cycle path in Chester, when I noticed a sparrow following us along the hedgerow. As the sun illuminated its feathers, I marvelled at its beauty and I felt God say “I love you even more than this.” I remembered the words in Matthew 10:29-31

So today, whatever you are waiting on, planning on or worrying about, remember he loves you so much more than the sparrow and he’s got it sorted!